Your Mind Gym - How is it Like in Your Relationship?

Pick any important relationship in your life & assess. How's it like? It could be rocky, or smooth; filled with turmoil, flat-lining, or flaming with joy.

What do you think makes a difference? If you think hard about it, you'll find that the "smooth" & "flowing with joy" relationships have agreements on core life values you share with the other.

If it's your partner, friend, colleague, parent, sibling, or kid, you're assessing your relationship with, you'll realize that the more you're like each other, the more you like each other.

Still, no two people are alike. And if you focus on your differences, you, surely, head that "rocky" road describing how your relationship is like. Rings a bell in any case?

If you really want to hold on to having them in your life, what are you to do if you were to smoothen the path both of you walk?

Examine the whole package. Acknowledge & accept the differences. Focus on your similarities & bring these to spotlight in your interactions.

"The proper cement building all relationships, is loudly appreciating the commonalities more than drawing attention to the differences." ~3Ds

It's been said that thriving relationships have a ratio of 5 positive interactions to each negative one, usually.

Perhaps it's re-engineering time of how it's like. Think hard. They have abundant material you can use as cement.

Start mixing: a trait here, a behavior there,  dash of love, & sprinkle all with understanding.

Happy "building"....

Happily ever after  J

Your Personal Coach

Dania

Are You Often Criticized?

If you’re often criticized, then that’s good. It means you’re moving, you’re actually doing something, & you’re surrounded by people. Well perhaps not the most encouraging people, but criticism gives you information (about you, or about them).

How do you receive that criticism? Do you get infuriated? Hurt? Or perhaps bitter? Lash out in defense? Or do you really listen before responding & assess if there is any kernel of truth to what’s been said?

You would be really lucky if you were criticized by well-meaning others. This is more like feedback that helps you grow. Even if criticism came with malicious intent, it can point to areas you need to work on, so never discount what’s been said. You’ll hear a lot of truths that describe you from both friend & foe.

Now, what if you were often criticized by someone just for the sake of it? This is when it tells more about them. Some people are programmed to think in terms of “contrast”. They can’t help but jump to consider the alternative that’s not working. Others, feel so “low” deep inside that, to them, the only way to feel “high” (better) is to bring others down. Just accept this truth: it’s more about them & draw your boundaries.

All are conveying something to you, so listen with your heart. And remember: “The brighter your light, the more you’ll attract both moths & butterflies. You’d put the moths in captivity if you focus on the butterflies’ activity”.

Wouldn’t you rather hear more words of acknowledgement instead? Let’s face it! Most people are stingy on “praise”; abundant in criticism…

Let’s start a new wave. Praise more often. Make others feel good & see how good YOU, in turn, will feel… Notice the good & highlight it. Wouldn’t you rather be a butterfly….?

I’m starting a “butterfly effect” now…. YOU ROCK!….

Did you hear that? All hail J

Your Personal Coach

     Dania