Fake it Till You Make it

I feel a connection with the universe when sometimes incidents with analogous content take place in a row. It’s like I’m being sent messages that I cannot ignore. Here is another account of yet another lesson learned. I woke up in a cranky mood this morning (yes….. I am human and do have my ups & down). I felt overwhelmed by having so many endless obligations and responsibilities. I just came back from my yearly vacation with the family and things needing my intervention were piling up like mountains: so many errands, too little time. I started off by writing my usual list of “things to do” and another of things to get from the supermarket. And my day began …..

It was a long wait at the hairdresser and for the first time I forgot to grab along my book to read. I felt strange not being able to use my time wisely by reading while I waited. Turning to the available magazines there did not satisfy my taste. I decided to do something about my mood, so I reciprocated the young employees’ nice attempts in initiating conversations by being more focused and humorous. We ended up with more prolonged chats than my usual practice to kill time. When another lady customer walked into the place, I was surprised to hear one of those young men groan: “Oh no, not her again!” I asked why he said that and his reply was that she never smiles; she’s not like you he added. Indeed for one hour I observed her while I interacted laughingly with those employees. Her face was endlessly grim as if her introspections revealed only contemplations over misery. I wasn’t in my best of mood, but I faked it until it gradually kicked in. Why let those around me sense my concerns when it was me invading their space?

As I continued running my errands, I persisted with enforcing a good mood on myself. It didn’t take me a lot of effort. It just started coming out naturally. At the supermarket, I was conversing with the butcher and requesting my stuff in a respectful and cheerful manner. He would reciprocate by being as kind and merry. Our gentle interactions were interrupted by another lady who barged in and started bossing around that man with a flat look on her face. She wasn’t requesting her needs; she was rather ordering and demanding. The butcher waited until she was distracted and asked: “I wonder what people lose by not smiling at others?” He’s absolutely right to note that. He added that he appreciates my smiling face and noted that it well decorated my beautiful face (blush :)). I compared how he continued interacting with both of us and I surely felt preferred to deal with and support with the service needed.

I know we all carry a heavy burden of responsibilities and worries. People we interact with are not mind-readers. They automatically form judgments and impressions. We can experience all sorts of reservations and no one has to neither know nor deduce. Specifically, I point to those employees we interact with briefly for services. They are humans with mostly monotonous and boring jobs. Our emotions seep into their laps and in turn are reproduced into the services they offer. True, my mood was cranky that morning, but being eager to suppress it and reverse it did yield in positive feedback from those around me. I was lucky to encounter others with similar attitudes. Those young employees at the hairdresser do have their own baggage of concerns, so did that butcher. Faking a good mood became contagious, was positively reinforced, and gradually set in. I returned home really satisfied with having accomplished my “to do lists” for that day. But above all, and despite the fact I had more responsibilities to take care of the next morning, I knew that I can make it a day even better for me & for others….